The Vine News

Q: Haunted by the past asks: Why do other Christians condemn me and hold my past against me when they hear about a mistake or sin I committed. What should I do about it?

A: Christians are people too! We are human with human frailties. What matters most is what God thinks and what you think. If you could see yourself through God’s eyes, what would He see and what would He say? That’s all that matters.

Q: Should’ve would’ve asks: I am 32 years old. Should I find the man who people say is my father because I think I would be much further ahead if he were in my life? If he is married and has a family what should I do – still try to pursue a relationship with him? What if he doesn’t want me around or what if his family doesn’t want me around, what should I do?

A: Your first question leads me to wonder if you expect to receive or gain something from this man. Of course, seeking God for direction is a must. However, if you can get to a place, spiritually and emotionally, where you expect nothing in return, then you’ll be more equipped to meet him.

There are many “what ifs,” in life. Our lives are terribly limited by constantly trying to answer what ifs.

Relationships involve more than one person. If God is telling you to find your father, find him and ask if you and he can work to develop a relationship.

If he says, “No,” then you’re the better because you tried. If he says, “Yes,” then you’ve added another person to your circle.

Being spiritually and emotionally ready means, regardless of the result, it’s a win-win situation.

The opinions and views provided in Sargent Says, are not intended as psychological, spiritual or therapeutic advice.  Opinions contained herein are those of the writer, and not to be used as a substitute for medical attention, diagnosis, treatment, or other professional mental health or medical services, or as legal, parental, spiritual, health, or mental health advice.

Beverly Sargent, NCC, LGPC, is a licensed pastoral therapist and founder of A Servant’s Heart Ministries, offering counseling services for pastors and their families, teens and adults.